Step 3: Setting Up For Success in Therapy
Whether you’re coming in for sex therapy around a specific sexual issue, relationship counselling for intimacy or relational difficulties, trauma, or anything else related to sex or sexuality, we want you to have a successful therapy process!
prioritizing therapy
Regular attendance in therapy, especially at the start of your work, greatly improve your experience and getting to your goal! Take a moment before your first session to consider:
When should I book my sessions so I am best able to attend them regularly?
We recommend your first 5 sessions occur between weekly and biweekly to start – you may have already been booked in for your initial five sessions or you are considering how frequently you can attend. While everyone’s circumstances are different, we find five sessions at a weekly to biweekly frequency creates the best success! If that feels like a barrier to you, talk to your counsellor about what frequency would be best given your presenting concern, goals, and barriers that are getting in the way.
Is there anything that may get in the way over the next 3 months of having and attending regular sessions?
Jot down some ideas and discuss this with your counsellor in the first session!
how many sessions do I need?
This is one of the most common questions we get asked – the answer? it really depends! We find most clients find some positive outcomes after 5 sessions, while some reach their goals prior to that and others will need long term therapy around their presenting concern! A few things to consider:
If you are only able to attend therapy for a short period of time (5 or less sessions), decide what your biggest priority is and let your counsellor know; we’ll focus on out specific goal to help you get the most out of those sessions! We may not be able to completely resolve the issue, but we’ll leave you feeling better equipped to handle it than before.
If you know that there may be more complex reasons contributing our influencing the concern you’re coming to therapy for, you may understand or be prepared for a longer therapeutic process.
Our aim is to leave you feeling hopeful towards your goal in the first session with a therapeutic plan that takes your specific needs into consideration as well as what may be most clinically appropriate – you’ll decide this together with your counsellor!
How frequently do I need sessions?
You may have already booked your next few sessions when we confirmed your first appointment since we generally like to book the initial 2-3 sessions to ensure that you can get the process going towards your goals since consistency, especially at the beginning of the therapy journey, helps you move towards your goal more smoothly. From there, you can space out your sessions based on how you and your counsellor feel it most clinically appropriate!
We generally find clients are most successful in therapy when they stay on a weekly to biweekly frequency while the active part of the work, and then move towards monthly or more once they are feeling positive shifts in what brought them to therapy. This is just our clinical recommendation, but this is something that you’ll discuss directly with your counsellors depending on your schedule, availability, and finances.
doing practices or exercises at home
You may be given different exercises to practice either on your own or with your partner at home – your counsellor will give you specific details about how to do them and how frequently!
It may feel easy to forget about them, or want to avoid doing them because they can be challenging, uncomfortable, or feel awkward – all of these are perfectly normal reactions to many of the practices we use in sex therapy, couples counselling, or trauma work. As long as it isn’t distressing or dissociating, we encourage you to prioritize your exercises and practices! Some tips to help you are:
create a ritual or positive experience around the exercise
lower the amount of time you are expecting yourself to do it for – a few minutes, and even 30 seconds, can be better than nothing!
put it in your calendar and keep your appointment with yourself
take a few moments to deep breathe and regulate your nervous system before trying to attempt the exercise (or maybe this is your home practice!)
If you’re still finding it difficult to get to your practices, discuss this with your counsellor directly as many of the exercises we provide to clients are highly effective if we can support you to find a way to find space for them in your life or implement them into your relationship.